SUSAN LIVINGSTON SYMMES had written a letter to her husband-to-be in 1794 before their marriage referring to the state of her finances and her intention to repay her sister Kitty for money she had borrowed.
I never manifested any distrust of your circumstances, in the first letter you wrote me, you said your fortune was sufficient & I had the fullest confidence in your word.—what I proposed respecting mine was merely to relieve a sisters anxiety whose income was insufficient without the addition of mine, and judging it could be no object with you: how this can be construed into self love I cannot see. I think it would have been an act of great generosity in both of us. I am sorry you are obliged to recur to ages back to find love matches. I see them daily among my acquaintances, altho in many cases previous settlements & stipulations take place, either at the request of parents, friends or the desire of the gentleman. doubtless many connections are founded in interest—for my own part I never would give my hand where I was not attached upon any consideration. I think an Union founded on esteem promises the most happiness, as that will remain when passion declines: I am sorry you have so mistaken my Ideas upon the subject, and still more, that having been flattered with your good opinion, I should be so unfortunate as to forfeit it. as to the plan of living at Morris about a twelve month & then to be fetched to the Miamis, and after a few years residence there (to arrange your affairs) to return to Jersey, it was precisely your own plan the morning of your departure do you not recollect that you said you would write to Mr [Peyton] Short [Cleves son-in-law] to come to Morris & you would protract your stay as long as possible—and when in your last but one you talked of gardening, I presumed you meant at Morris—I have only one proposal more to make, which is that you do just as you wish in the matter. Your will shall be mine. I know not what more I can say. If you choose to go alone to the miamis—my best wishes shall accompany you. Indeed my friend your letter has wounded my feelings more than ever I expected they would have been by you. Since mine has offended you forget the contents, and be assured I erred with the best intentions in consequence of a promise made Mrs R. before I thought of changing my situation; However that may be, in this I am clear that I am with esteem & affection your friend
John Cleves Symmes tried to use Susan’s letter to assert his claim that she had given him control of her finances and did not have the authority to repay her sister. He failed. In 1808, after living several years in Ohio, Susan Livingston Symmes left her husband and returned to the East. Although she did not divorce him she lived apart from him in New York until his death in 1814. Susan died in 1840 and is buried in Stockbridge, New York, in what is known as the Sedgwick Pie. It gets its name from its shape and layout. The family patriarch, Theodore Sedgwick, and his wife lie in the center; family members, relatives, servants, pets, etc. are arranged in concentric circles around him.