SARAH LIVINGSTON JAY wrote again to her husband John on 12 November 1794 expressing her satisfaction with their children.

. . . . To-day I’ve recd. a letter from Maria from Bethlehem, I’ll inclose it for your satisfaction. We have as much reason as ever Parents had to be grateful on account of our Children. I ask’d your dr. little son [William, 1789-1858] what I should tell you of his little sister [Sarah “Sally” Louisa, 1792-1813]. He said I should tell you she talk’d enough to employ three tongues to repeat. In short, if it was not for your little Counter-parts, I should want chearfulness & vigour to enable me to perform a variety of extra duties that devolve upon me in consequence of your absence. To-morrow I shall resume my pen.

Don’t you just love the reference to the children as “your little Counter-parts”? Sarah wrote a note to Maria on November 19 asking “what studies engage your attention at present, & which of the Ladies you are indebted to for instruction,” and advising her to “Read as much history as you conveniently can, & let me know what it relates to. Without Geography history will be but a blind study, you will therefore I am sure be attentive to that. . . . ”

Upon learning of his daughter Maria’s enrollment in the Bethlehem Academy John Jay wrote her this letter dated 9 December 1794. He was always giving advice to his children in a rather pedantic way.

Mama informs me that you had sollicited, and obtained her consent, to pass some months at Bethlehem, from an Expectation that you would there have better means of Improvement than at New York. Your motive certainly was laudable, and I sincerely wish your Expectations may be realized. As much will depend on yourself, as well as on your Teachers. I flatter myself that they will derive Credit, and your Friends Pleasure, from the Progress you will make. I do not mean by this remark, to urge you to unceasing application. Exercise and Relaxation are essential to Health; and Health is a Blessing without which no other temporal ones can be enjoyed. Apply diligently, and play heartily. I need not add properly, of that I am sure you will be mindful.
Your Brother [Peter Augustus] is well, and assures you of his affection. We hope by the Blessing of Providence to be home next Spring. I shall be happy then to take the earliest opportunity of seeing you; and of assuring you that, by being, what I am persuaded you will be, prudent, amiable and accomplished, and ever mindful of your Creator, you may rely on the Esteem, Love and attachment of
My dear Maria
Your very affectionate Father
John Jay

source: Selected Letters of John Jay and Sarah Livingston Jay, compiled and edited by Landa M. Freeman, Louise V. North, and Janet M. Wedge (Jefferson, NC: McFarland & Company, 2005), 241, 243, 247. Jay’s portrait is by John Trumbull, dated 1794 when the two were in London, Trumbull serving as Jay’s secretary. It is at the John Jay Homestead State Historic Site in Katonah, NY.

From New York on 25th October 1794, SARAH LIVINGSTON JAY wrote to her husband John, who was in London negotiating what came to be called the Jay Treaty, about their daughter Maria’s acceptance to the Bethlehem Academy in Pennsylvania. Organized and operated by Moravians, it was one of the few schools of higher learning for girls in the United States at that time. Sarah Jay was used to making decisions on her own when her husband was away and when Maria who was twelve years old asked to attend the Academy Sarah, with the help of friends and relatives, managed to get her admitted. Sarah’s sister Susan had recently married Judge John Cleves Symmes [see posts here and here] and it was in part through his influence that Maria was accepted. It was in the couple’s custody that Maria traveled to Bethlehem.

My dr. Mr. Jay,
. . . . Last Saturday our dear little Maria went with Judge Symmes & his daughter to Morris-Town where Mrs. Symmes is, to go from thence with them in their Cochee as far as Bethlehem. In my last I inform’d you how very desirous she was of residing there 12 or 18 months as the means of promoting her Education. As we were inform’d that the school was full & that numbers had applied for admittance without obtaining it; I did not expect that she would be gratifyed; but Judge Symmes was of a different opinion; and as he was not ready for his journey when Mr. & Mrs. Arden went upon a visit to their daughters; he requested them to take charge of a letter from him to the Clergy-man there, which they did, & they have return’d; & Mrs. Arden call’d upon me to inform me that Mr. Van Vleck, the principal of the Society told her that the Clergyman told him that they could not hesitate about the reply, for that the Society were under obligations to Judge Symmes for past favors which ought never to be obliterated, & to the chief Justice of the U. States [John Jay] for past & present exertions for the Welfare of the Union; & that therefore his family merited the Assistance of those who were capable of being useful to them.

As Mrs. A[rden] was very desirous of Maria’s being there, she was kind enough to impress them with a favorable opinion of her understanding, representing her as a young Lady that was willing to forego the indulgences her situation in Life afforded, merely to derive advantage from retirement & application. She has acquired great éclat among her friends here likewise who know it to be her own choice. May a kind Providence be propitious to her laudable endeavors to excel. Little Ann [the Jays’ younger daughter] is very industrious at home. I did not wish her to accompany her sister, but if I had, she could not have been prevail’d upon to quit me. She is setting by me studying her french. The Children all behave well, enjoy perfect health & are very chearful. Yourself & Peter [Peter Augustus, the eldest of the Jay children who had accompanied his father to London] are the constant theme of our conversation. . . .

Once more, my dearest Mr. Jay receive the Adieus of
your ever affecte. Wife
Sa. Jay

Selected Letters of John Jay and Sarah Livingston Jay, compiled and edited by Landa M. Freeman, Louise V. North, and Janet M. Wedge (Jefferson, NC: McFarland & Company, 2005), 236. The portrait of Maria, dated 1798, is by Charles Balthazar Julien Févret de Saint-Mémin and is in the National Portrait Gallery of the Smithsonian Institution.

SUSAN LIVINGSTON SYMMES had written a letter to her husband-to-be in 1794 before their marriage referring to the state of her finances and her intention to repay her sister Kitty for money she had borrowed.

Feby 10– Baltimore [17]94Permit me my friend once more to intrude upon your patience & waste so much of your time as to endeavor to clear myself of the heavy charges brought against me in your letter of the 4th february.

I never manifested any distrust of your circumstances, in the first letter you wrote me, you said your fortune was sufficient & I had the fullest confidence in your word.—what I proposed respecting mine was merely to relieve a sisters anxiety whose income was insufficient without the addition of mine, and judging it could be no object with you: how this can be construed into self love I cannot see. I think it would have been an act of great generosity in both of us. I am sorry you are obliged to recur to ages back to find love matches. I see them daily among my acquaintances, altho in many cases previous settlements & stipulations take place, either at the request of parents, friends or the desire of the gentleman. doubtless many connections are founded in interest—for my own part I never would give my hand where I was not attached upon any consideration. I think an Union founded on esteem promises the most happiness, as that will remain when passion declines: I am sorry you have so mistaken my Ideas upon the subject, and still more, that having been flattered with your good opinion, I should be so unfortunate as to forfeit it. as to the plan of living at Morris about a twelve month & then to be fetched to the Miamis, and after a few years residence there (to arrange your affairs) to return to Jersey, it was precisely your own plan the morning of your departure do you not recollect that you said you would write to Mr [Peyton] Short [Cleves son-in-law] to come to Morris & you would protract your stay as long as possible—and when in your last but one you talked of gardening, I presumed you meant at Morris—I have only one proposal more to make, which is that you do just as you wish in the matter. Your will shall be mine. I know not what more I can say. If you choose to go alone to the miamis—my best wishes shall accompany you. Indeed my friend your letter has wounded my feelings more than ever I expected they would have been by you. Since mine has offended you forget the contents, and be assured I erred with the best intentions in consequence of a promise made Mrs R. before I thought of changing my situation; However that may be, in this I am clear that I am with esteem & affection your friend

John Cleves Symmes tried to use Susan’s letter to assert his claim that she had given him control of her finances and did not have the authority to repay her sister. He failed. In 1808, after living several years in Ohio, Susan Livingston Symmes left her husband and returned to the East. Although she did not divorce him she lived apart from him in New York until his death in 1814. Susan died in 1840 and is buried in Stockbridge, New York, in what is known as the Sedgwick Pie. It gets its name from its shape and layout. The family patriarch, Theodore Sedgwick, and his wife lie in the center; family members, relatives, servants, pets, etc. are arranged in concentric circles around him.

American Women Writers to 1800, Sharon M. Harris – editor, (New York: Oxford University Press,1996), 92-94.